You didn't waste my time. The search to get better, I've pretty much come to the same personal resolution. If you let it out on here, you're not burdening anyone because that's not how it works here. Here, you are not a weight on anyone's ankle, you're another voice in this sea voices. Anyone who reads what you have to say, they might just benefit from it because they'll find someone who they can relate to. Everyone who reads and offers help, if only just a hug, do it because we want to help you. Good job writing your first post, took me a while too. It's a step towards possible help, or at least, a step towards hopefully feeling a little less alone.