Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
Oh, thats not good. Imo. That kinda explains why you keep bumping up against his "countertransference". I mean, my feeling was, i didnt like my feelings to begin with - i dont need somebody ELSE telling me im effed up and to stop it. I want to confront it with him.
But maybe thats part of his aspie/sports/AA paradigm - you dont want to indulge and thereby enforce the unwanted behavior, which UPR would imply, so he confronts and redirects it ASAP?
Because IF you wanted to confront it with him, then, when he turned around to put the stone back on the sill and you felt bad, you needed AT THAT MOMENT to tell him what you were feeling - that you had hoped FOR A MOMENT he would return it to you.
Its a different kind of therapy than youve been reporting, really being in the moment, but i think UPR is essential then. Because how could respond any way but kindly to you? Not necessarily returning the stone, but dealing with your feelings right then. But YOU have to make those moments happen. You have to realize that nothing else on todays agenda is more important than your feeling at that moment.
Thats how i did t, anyway.
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I agree with Una, LT. UPR isn't just "Awww, i accept everything you say and all your feelings, lovey smooch smooch!!" (sorry, lol) I have never asked my T if she believes in this, but she does accept all of my feelings as true, for me. She challenges me all the time, but it is always with curiosity.
For example, I am going to put myself in your shoes with the stone thing. I'll pretend that I was brave enough to tell her that holding the stone when I was upset. I think she would be happy that something helped me feel better. She probably would ask about what I was feeling/thinking in the moment that it helped me, and we would explore that.
TO me, that is UPR.