Quote:
Originally Posted by velcro003
I agree with Una, LT. UPR isn't just "Awww, i accept everything you say and all your feelings, lovey smooch smooch!!" (sorry, lol) I have never asked my T if she believes in this, but she does accept all of my feelings as true, for me. She challenges me all the time, but it is always with curiosity.
For example, I am going to put myself in your shoes with the stone thing. I'll pretend that I was brave enough to tell her that holding the stone when I was upset. I think she would be happy that something helped me feel better. She probably would ask about what I was feeling/thinking in the moment that it helped me, and we would explore that.
TO me, that is UPR.
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Yes, that's the reaction I wanted from him. I told him that, back when we first discussed it, that I had hoped he'd just respond with, "I'm glad it gave you comfort." Not the whole creepy thing... I mean, he did try to figure out if it was the therapy space (which also included him) vs. him (as a therapist, not a person), and I had trouble differentiating which it was. I think if I'd just said, "Yep, 100% the therapy space!" none of this would have turned into anything. But of course I had to be honest...I still recall his reaction, when he was describing what would bother him, and I started crying, and he was like, "Why are you reacting that way?" Like he didn't get why it could bother me, his saying that (now he seems to understand more).
As for the UPR, I know this isn't the same thing, but months ago, the topic of unconditional love came up. And he said he didn't believe in that. I was like, "But you're a parent, how could you not?" And he said there were things his kid could do (like awful, evil things) that would make him disown him. That kind of threw me a bit (being a parent myself). More recently, he said the thing about not buying into UPR. Which did bother me a bit. I know he prides himself on being honest, but sometimes he just takes the honesty thing too far...