I'm pretty much guaranteed to become severely depressed through October and into November, but this year (and I think last year), I'm depressed for a less specific reason (and more agitated than straight up tired). But I thought you only had SAD in the winter OR the summer. I think I would feel better if we actually got spring and fall where I live. It's either freezing or 90+ degrees with a stupid amount of humidity.

Maybe it's because in the summer I have to constantly work and never get to relax much. I'm trying to balance working more or less full time with a class (6 hours a week in class, probably about 6 more hours at least outside of class). 50+ hours a week would be fine if I were getting paid for all of it, getting paid more than slightly over minimum wage, and enjoyed more of it.

I used to enjoy it, so maybe feeling depressed is making it harder to enjoy? Maybe I just don't have the patience anymore.

I've wanted to seek treatment for a while now, but my insurance changes every year so I'd have no consistency and I wouldn't be sure I would be able to stay on medications. Besides, my depression is due to life circumstances, not chemicals. I'm not one of those people who has a perfect life and is so surprised they're depressed. I basically have nothing I want out of life and I'm tired of spending time, money, and effort not getting anywhere.

I wanted to improve my self-worth through education. That did the opposite. I'm unable to get my needs met through relationships. The strange estrangement I have from my family (for NO REASON) has hurt me so much and damaged my ability to develop relationships with others. I can't get my needs met in a romantic relationship. We've been together for almost four years and still can't live together. And since we live an hour apart now, there's this large divide so there's not enough intimacy.

Is it SAD or just general depression? If it's because of my life, is there even anything I can do about it?