Quote:
Originally Posted by golden_eve
But you can control how you behave around this man. It's not as though you have no control over your own behavior. No need to allow yourself to act like a school girl around him. If your husband would be hurt, and so would you if he did the same, even if you understood it, well, actions, and reactions to people, can be reigned in.
|
I do control myself, I don’t do anything inappropriate, it is the stupid smile I cannot get off my face. It is almost like a reflex, the only thing I can do is to hide my mouth behind a coffee cup or something. I make an effort to think about something else, but the smile slips out anyway.
Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
I’d say that typically people in happy relationships don’t develop infatuation for random people. More often than not it happens when something is off or unsatusfying or worrisome in your primary relationship. I’d take focus of this man and look into what’s going on in your marriage?
|
Most of the time I have been with my husband coincided with me being depressed and anxious (=unhappy). I am not saying that he made me unhappy, my job at that time was pretty awful.
Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me
I find, even in my early 40's and divorced for many years when I out of seemingly no where find myself with noticing having a crush, I pause and ask myself what's going on for me in the present. I'm not talking some quick notice of attraction I'm talking cannot get them off the mind type of crush.
After jotting down in my journal what's going on for me it typically boils down to feeling vulnerable in certain ways. Frustrated with various areas of my life, etc.
Then I try to find ways to keep myself mentally occupied.
I'm sure that it's not the same as the day in and day out experience that you are going through. At the same time, I do know what it's like to carry on with an emotional affair. And I remember how and why that began.
|
I am keeping a journal and I am starting to see patterns. My current boss is a good person, very understanding and we seem to connect as people. My previous boss was passive aggressive and abusive, he made me feel very bad about myself. I did feel vulnerable, now I feel I am regaining my strength and healing in a way. Everything would have been perfect if not these by-product feelings, I am afraid to ruin it all.