Thank you all of you that posted here. All of you posted such thoughtful replys and some of you are struggling really badly too . I want to reply to all of you individually but I'm not in the headspace where I can concentrate long enough to focus. I'm not sure how I'm feeling today , I'm avoiding my thoughts at the moment , trying to distract myself by watching TV. I'm sure I will get a desire to end it all again because nothing has changed in my life since yesterday , but I will deffinately listen to what all of you have said and I will try to fight against it . I'm also very sorry to all those of you out there that are not feeling good too and those that are also having suicidal thoughts. Nobody deserves to feel like that . Sending love and hugs to all of you and to anyone out there who is just suffering in silence