Quote:
Originally Posted by QuietMind
We're wired for attachment to our parents in order to survive. Your disorganised attachment and conflicting parts is common among adult's abused as children.
Often we latch onto the few "less bad" times however tiny the difference or "random kindnesses" they displayed because it gave us hope. Some proof of caring. It was random and therefore intermittent reinforcement which is addictive to our brains.
|
Quietmind,
Thanks for reassuring me that what happens in my head isn't crazy but it common for people who had bad experiences as a child in my family. It's hard to trust my mind when I see things from so many different angles, depending on what part of me is presently active.
It makes sense what you said...that we latch onto any good times or small acts of kindness because it gives us hope (or supposed "proof") that we are loved.
I guess it's easier to tell myself that I just don't see my parents accurately, that they are and have been very good parents, and that my memories are distorted and wrong than to believe that my parents either didn't value me enough to give me the time, love, protection, nurturing, and help to become a healthy, confident adult or they couldn't provide it.