Openeyes,

Thanks for the reassurance. Yes, I've been working on these childhood challenges in therapy. It has been very slow going, though, because I have so much guilt and shame. I also have a part of myself that is strongly entrenched in seeing my mom as perfect and myself as defective.

It's hard to turn that around, especially when my mom has so many talents and receives so much admiration and so many compliments for her successes, while my talents, contributions, and good qualities have always gone unnoticed, overlooked, or minimized...not just in my family, but pretty much everywhere.

When you feel neglected, ignored, or minimized so many different times in different places by different people throughout your life, it becomes almost impossible NOT to believe that I'm the one who is at fault, I must be boring, unimportant, or have no redeeming qualities that would make anybody else have any interest in knowing, befriending, or loving me.etc.