I've been having struggles with food for years and now getting worse after i talked about it wity my T for the first time 3weeks ago. before it, it was a secret.

during the last days i wrote and copied all i've written here and on my diary to show my T. i wanted some help with the thoughts that are not letting me be.

She said i dont seem to have any ED because im TOO AWARE of what i do and why.

Im too aware?????

Even when she knows i cant sleep at night, being focused at work, and i keep counting and weighting and worrying about it all the time???

and even if im already being underweight, she says my weight doesnt worry her because she believes me when i say i can stop when i want… so even if i go lower she wont care?

she said we need to work on other stuff (what??) and my weight is the last of the worries.

yeah, but it the first one for me!

i feel totally invalidated and i think she sensed it. i dont know what to do anymore. i even told her that even when i ask for help i never get it… and then i think she realized i was saying she isnt helping me at all either.

WHAT DO I DO NOW? WHO/WHAT CAN HELP???
PLEASEEEEE....