What a session.

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almeda24fan said:
Somehow we get back on to the we won't be friends after therapy topic. This started last session because I've been thinking about the end of therapy and how we won't see each other again. I have no idea why I started this conversation last week, it isn't because I am doing better and feel therapy should end. There is some other reason I'm not getting right now.

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It sounds from this post that you are preparing yourself for the end. Bringing this topic up is preparation. You're practicing how it might happen. Yet it also sounds like you don't want to follow your same old patterns--abruptedly leaving a relationship so you don't get hurt--but it's hard not to. You're giving T signs you are heading toward this. Could it be a cry for help to him to please help you not do it this way again? To help you maintain the relationship and to end it "properly" when the right time comes.?

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I just can't end our relationship the right way, I can't do it. Gradual tapering off of sessions and then this big good bye.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">That sounds so very painful to me too.

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how embarrassing.

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I hear ya, almedafan.

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Luckily I apologized for being mean to him because really I do feel close to him and don't want him to go away.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I am glad that made you feel better. As you've seen in my thread, I am struggling with whether an apology is the right thing to do. I wasn't mean to my T, so it's different. But kind of the same.

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He said something about enjoy our relationship now and laugh now with him, my husband and other in my life rather than focus on the end etc.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I really agree with that view.

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Who was I tonight?? Certainly not what he or anyone would want to be friends with...

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">A poem I love addresses just this question. For me, according to the poem, I was the wild hog. Maybe you had a little of that too.