Would you look for a better paid job or perhaps take a second job? Having no money does make it difficult to have things in life you might enjoy. I understand that.

But there is more to life than secret sex with married men. It’s not like you had verity of experiences with him like traveling or attending events or spending time with families. What you had with him couldn’t be emotionally satisfying long term.

If you feel lonely, there are many things you can get done in life that would keep you less lonely and doesn’t cost you much or any money. Why don’t you join book club? It’s free. Meetup? Free groups like walking? Why not volunteer? There are many things to make you less lonely