After a year together he wanted to split up, but it only lasted a few months. We've been together for 13 years now. But since the initial split, I've been insecure about our relationship. Some years later he'd turn down my sexual advances and occasionally stay out all night leaving me wondering where he was, which only intensified my insecurity. We didn't talk about these issues for a long time, but when we did he said he was depressed at the time and he started letting me know where he was going and with who. I felt a little better, but I still felt insecure because while he wasn't turning me down when I wanted to be intimate he still didn't pursue me. He remains adamant to this day that he never cheated on me, but I don't know if I can believe him.

A year ago I was snooping on his phone and I saw he had been looking at nude photos of my sister on a local artist's website from a shoot she did and porn websites after. When I confronted him he said that her ex who was still his friend had been angry at her and showed him the website and password. Then he tried to lie about why he was looking and said it was the only time he had done it. I tried to act like everything was okay, but I just felt like he was lying. He has since admitted he looked at them five times before I found out. I didn't think he would do something like this. He says he just thought she was hot and didn't think about how it would affect me at all, but I know he must have known how wrong it was.

He claims to be remorseful and keeps saying how he really messed up. We've been talking about it, but I don't know what to do. He claims to love me more than anything, but how could he do that if that were true? It just feels so creepy to me, and I feel like he must think I'm absolutely worthless. I don't know how we can work through this. I love him so much and feel stupid for not wanting to leave him after the way he disrespected me and my sister. Do you think it's even possible to work through this? What can we possibly do that would help?