Quote:
Originally Posted by bpforever1
But, essentially forgiving them has allowed me to enjoy what remains of my life and be grateful for what I have.
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I think I have the capacity for forgiveness but I do not and will not exercise it here.
Perhaps I have never in my life forgiven anyone. Concepts such as forgiveness are unclear to me. If someone wrongs me, either it is too much for me to get past, or I can brush it off.
I have empathy and understand the struggles of my parents and all that they faced in raising me. I have had this empathy all throughout my childhood. The were mean to me and I handled them as best as I could. This empathy has drained me and I won't let it further cloud my perception of what their treatment of me was like. They were, in fact, mean and dismissive and shaming.
I'm angry and I don't really care about letting that go. I don't know what forgiveness is anyway as no one forgave me. Frankly I don't care about them enough to need to forgive them.
I do not trust easily, or maybe ever. I don't think I'm capable of it. I do not care much about anything. I don't care about forgiveness, friendship, or love. It's all a farce.
Theoretically, all I want is for someone to answer every time I ask for them. But in practice, I will never ask for them, ever.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gus1234U
i heard a quote once that i liked:
dysfunctional families come in 10,000 varieties;
functional families come in only one: calm, caring and safe.
how do you treat yourself ?
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I think I treat myself just fine. I am somewhat career oriented (the only good thing about me), but perhaps I don't eat very healthy or work out though. I also self harm and am depressed. I don't know what that means to people. I think I'm pretty healthy!
What people don't see through my unpolished demeanor is that I am, at the core, calm and strategic.
People don't know me.