Quote:
Originally Posted by peaches100
AlwaysChanging,
Yes, I experience what you do. At first, the independent adult side of me, but eventually, the butt kissing alter. When I notice myself doing it, it's like I can't stop it. But later, I realize that I have given my parents a free pass and blamed myself for the problems we've had between us. Then little alters feel upset and betrayed by me, and I feel like a hypocrite.
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Our butt kisser is the one programmed to tell them what they want to hear...
We can’t blame each other within...we are who we are due to trauma and abuse. I blame my father and so does every bit of the others. It’s not fair to hold another part responsible for their own discomfort...all we can do is comfort each other.
Some parts have came to peace with the situation, and some have not and those that haven’t shouldn’t be hating on those that have. I feel each part should come to terms on their own or keep their anger placed on the offender, not on another part.
Not all parts hurt the same.
It’s okay to cut off a family member. It speaks volume to the one cut off...it says you have hurt me and messed my world up.... to protect ourselves, we will never speak again...have a good life.
There is no rule that says that we have to people please our abuser even if they are related. They still are just another person genetically linked.
Some of us tried to be okay with him the last time....but he triggered us with just a verbal tone like I was 10 years old again....that flew us into a rage once we came too.
For our system serenity...we have chosen to cut all ties with our abuser/father. The last I remember...we told him that we have DID...and Google it, good-bye.
Us first....