Desoxyn - Good to hear you hung and feel better. Remember that it happens - it will get better. Hang on to that when the darkness comes.

Whisperingskye - glad you took action but wish you had better luck with your case worker. I would ask for a different assignment.

Last night was one of the first times I have been out with a group where there was significant drinking. I had outed myself to one guy who was there so that I had a safety person who would call me out if I ordered something. The guy across from pounded a few large strong beers (16 oz glasses of craft beer) and I resisted the urge to tell him that's problematic. He definitely would have spent a night in jail if he were pulled over on the way home.
It was actually a good experience for me. I enjoyed the conversations, the jokes were still funny and I really didn't feel any strong urge to drink. Just that slightly remorseful longing - it would be nice if I could have one glass of craft beer with my meal. But I know I can't and it wasn't a strong feeling that I dwelt on or anything. Just a passing thought.

I am less than a week away from a year. I am at home, waiting for a bug guy to come today to look for bedbugs - we found just one and no one has been bitten but we figured we should get the free inspection. That means all bedrooms need to be unlocked. My wife has been locking hers (we sleep separate) with prescriptions put away inside. Today she took all the medication with her in a bag to lock in the car. I told her I am under a week away from a year and her other choice was to show some confidence in me. She said that's never going to happen because of my failures in the past; all possibility of trust has been destroyed. It's a shame; I feel like it is my fault but a split seems inevitable now.