sunny, You were real, authentic and in the moment.
I envy those who can 'be' right there in their session. T's want to and need to see all parts of us.
I think your behavior was real, authentic, brave, and necessary. I think it will add depth and dimension to your therapy
The desire to apologize might be interesting to explore in itself.
There's no guarantee we'll feel better afterwards. Nice when we do but sometimes it is days before I feel better.