In relationships, it depends on what you are looking for. To me, being with a guy & kissing wasn't fun & it wasn't what I was looking for in a date. I was looking for someone who I could be close with & have a lasting relationship with. To have a lasting relationship, one needs to know the other person on a level that isn't based on sex.......getting to know the other person & feel comfortable being around them without having sex as the only object was the only relationship that truely ends up lasting. Being able to communicate, to accept the other person when they aren't feeling well, knowing their personalities & whether you can even stand the personality in the first place is something that is important. I kiss means nothing if there isn't a bond between 2 people.

I know society has now come to the point where sex is all one dates for.....it is the entertainment for the date rather than a dinner & a movie. Don't believe that you have to be that way....you can still keep your moral values.....it's hard because everyone wants to pressure women into being what they say is being normal.....& justifying it because "everyone is doing it". If you have you values, it's important to keep them as values.

Honestly, I have been married 32 years & sadly, there has never been the communication or the closeness that being a true partnership is & that has NOTHING to do with sex. It has to do with existing together & living in a peaceful bond where the other person isn't always trying to force the other person to be something they aren't or to have values, even on the financial end of life. There is so much more to a relationship than sex that is overlooked. Sadly, it the other person is only interested in sex, then that is where they want to start the relationship. If you are looking for more in a relationship, then keep your values. You will truely only be happy if you find someone with your same values.

Don't settle for something other than what you truely want in a relationship. If you do, you will regret it in the long run. If you don't find what you need in a person, any long term relationship (marriage) will not end up lasting if there is only sex without the real things needed to make a relationship work.

I couldn't justify wasting my time on anyone that wasn't looking for what I was looking for. I had many guy friends that I just enjoyed doing things with like horse back riding, skiing, activities that we enjoyed together without having to do the kissing thing. It was only if I was in a serious relationship that I would allow any physical closeness to enter into the relationship. It made sense then....it makes sense now.

What you need to do is define what you want in your life & your relationships.....until you do that, you will not be the one in control & they will continue to pressure you. When you can explain where you are coming from & they don't fit, then it's a mutual agreement that there is no point in wasting time.

Hope this may help you a bit....it seems that you aren't sure about how to define what you want in a relationship....& there are different types of relatinships with guys but you have to let them know where you are coming from & whether you want just a friendship or something more.

Sadly, in society now, people include sex as part of friendship because they think it;s just something to do & is their entertainment for the evening. The basis for my moral values are my Christian beliefs.....your moral values are based on values you have set in your life is sounds based on the fact that you don't want to be controlled by a man & that you want to be the one that is in control of yourself.

The important thing is that you know what you want from a relationship & not be pressured into anything less.
Debbie