Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
I feel like this is what my T has been trying to do as well. He's said a few times that he doesn't want me to end up on the same dependent/needy path (I'm not saying you're this way! speaking for myself here) I was on with ex-MC. And I think he struggles at times with how to allow me to talk about whatever connection or transference I have for him and how to be there for me and support me without leading me down that same path. He's trying to focus on my strengthening my outside-therapy relationships and feeling more confident and connected in them rather than becoming dependent on him. Which on a cognitive level, I respect and very much appreciate. But then on a more emotional, less rational level, it's like, "But why can't I just depend on you?"
So it sounds much like you, in trying to reconcile the emotional and more logical sides. I think both of our T's have our best interests at heart. But that doesn't mean it isn't going to hurt sometimes.
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Yes! I can relate to so much of Rainbow and your post here, LT. I think what LT is written here is so powerful because it is so true. I know for me, I definitely feel on a somewhat unconscious level “but why can’t you save me?” and feel like if only she met my needs that my life would be magically better. The truth is that she just can’t. It’s a sad reality to face but it’s true. She can help me see what I need to find in my “real” life, and help me learn new skills of interacting with people, and also maybe help me mourn the things I needed but didn’t get, but as she’s told me many times as I’ve eye rolled internally that she doesn’t have a magic wand to make my feelings get better or go away. I have to keep working through them.