Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
I feel like this is what my T has been trying to do as well. He's said a few times that he doesn't want me to end up on the same dependent/needy path (I'm not saying you're this way! speaking for myself here) I was on with ex-MC. And I think he struggles at times with how to allow me to talk about whatever connection or transference I have for him and how to be there for me and support me without leading me down that same path. He's trying to focus on my strengthening my outside-therapy relationships and feeling more confident and connected in them rather than becoming dependent on him. Which on a cognitive level, I respect and very much appreciate. But then on a more emotional, less rational level, it's like, "But why can't I just depend on you?"
So it sounds much like you, in trying to reconcile the emotional and more logical sides. I think both of our T's have our best interests at heart. But that doesn't mean it isn't going to hurt sometimes.
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Oh, LT. You already know that our struggles with Ts are very similar. I agree with everything you've just written. I ask T "why not" too. Her answer is because I'm paying her to help me, not for her to be the answer. We know that Ts generally do not befriend their clients. Yes, there are exceptions. Their role is to help us with our connections in our lives outside of therapy. I understand that but it hurts. Hurts because it SEEMS so perfect with T. But it's not. We pay and it's their job. I know my T cares about me but not the same way I care about her. I have had this pattern for most of my life. I want the intimacy, the love, the connection with T. I have something like it with one friend. I don't know why that's not enough. It's sad to want it with T. I know it's related to my mother too. And probably my marriage. I wanted To to be everything to me though I always knew the truth.