One more set of questions, bc I really want to know the answers. What triggers you to drive by their houses, and how does it feel when you do it? Is it like thrill-seeking, a daring adventure? Is it like payback or revenge for all they won't tell and give? Is it like knowing where the house is and what it looks like is a huge transitional object, a source of comfort?

I am the polar opposite and don't understand that either. My insurance company billed me with T's home address, and now I will go to any lengths to avoid that whole town. When I have to go there for inescapable reasons, I dread running into him and I feel that I have to cede him the whole town, like it is his now. It 's very weird . I would also feel invaded if I ran into him in my little suburb town.