Hi guru, and welcome. Man, do I know what you're talking about. For myself it was all wrapped up in self conciousness. I could make wild guesses about where I picked up such a dose of that, but in the face of my multiple dx's the point seems to lose its mysteriousness.

I don't really know if it was the revelation of the breakdown/dx experience, or the subsequent focus on performing musically, but now I find that it's gone. As to the former, before the dx experience, I suppose I felt haunted by a feeling of "otherness" in every situation. It just always seemed that I was experiencing the same situations differently from everyone else. As to the latter, performing, singing in particular, tuned me into a kind of character acting. In order to sing some songs, I have to "become" the character of that song, in that back and forthing, maybe something clicked as to who is "me" and who is singing.

I can't tell if I'm actually conveying anthing meaningful in this, but I certainly identify with what you describe.

Everything changes. With your awareness of the problem, resources are marshalled from within you to begin unraveling it. I suspect your epiphany is "in the mail" so to speak.

peace, guru, see ya round I hope.