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Old Feb 14, 2008, 11:49 AM
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lauren_helene lauren_helene is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2007
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Soliaree said:
<font color="green"> In regards to your present struggle, I'd have you recognize that this may prove the most essential part of the work you have to do - to tolerate, explore, and ultimately accept that tension between becoming absolutely attached and rejecting/fleeing. Realize that there really is nothing remarkable going on around you at this moment, so the suffering you're feeling is a pure reflection of that dynamic. Breath, be still, and realize that there really is nothing you have to do right now to be ok. </font>

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I really like what he said to you. I will keep this paragraph thanks for sharing it with me.

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Soliaree said:
He said that he wouldn't lie to hurt my feelings. I felt so rejected. He said that it could never be because he would always be the one in power. Ughhhhhh. It's excruciating, devastating, I know.

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This is sort of what my T said regarding the power differential. He made a point to tell me that we are friends and that he does like me. I just need to put that into perspective. We are therapy friends.

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Soliaree said:
I have an emptiness inside of me and he tells me that he cannot fill it, that only I can. Know that it does get better, although it may take awhile. I still go back and forth between devastation and being okay. Hopefully that will get better

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This is the most painful process. I truly do love my T as a friend and it isn't transference. The erotic feelings, that is the unhealthy transference. I believe the closeness I feel towards him is genuine and real. He did agree with that and said we do have a genuine relationship...

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Soliaree said:
You were a person who was hurt and angry because in a sense your T rejected you. I know it had to be done, but it still feels like rejection.

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We talked about this. He said do you think I am rejecting you? And I said of course you are by saying 'gee, I wish we could be friends but blah blah blah.

Thank you so much for caring, love ya too
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