I wish I knew what to say to help you more, all I can say is I've been hurt a lot too and can sympathize so I do know it's not something you can just magically get over. It will take you time, so please be patient with yourself. Years later I'm still effected by what hurt me the most, and I hate that he has that sort of power over me still. I've read your other posts and didn't know how to respond then so didn't, but based on them you seem like you're trying to learn from this and that's good. You didn't force her to cheat, she could have just ended it or been more upfront with you if she felt you were neglecting her. Unfortunately, it leaves you being the one hurt. All you can do now is get through this and not let her have that control over your life anymore.