So, most of the reason I'm posting is just to get things off my chest. I know what I need to do in the situation (mainly) but I'm feeling pretty down at the moment and don't have anyone to talk to.

A lot of you know about the guy I was seeing who turned out to be cheating, have an already established gf, on and on, etc. Some of you may know that the girlfriend started harassing me a bit (admittedly, my fault). Well...that hasn't stopped.

I have two Instagram accounts. One is private, on which I post friends and family and most of myself. The other is public. I practice Wicca, and since there is no one in my city to connect with--it's a conservative area and there's nothing like a meetup group for that unlike other cities--I created that account to connect with other like-minded people. I can't even talk to my offline friends (all two of them) and family because they blow me off. I post a lot of inconsequential photos and reposts as a lot of us do. Much of the time, I'll put a longer talking point about something I've learned recently or just something to connect with others. The reason I leave it public is to do this connecting, and I have hundreds of followers. Some I talk to on a daily basis.

This account doesn't have my name on it. However, she found me. I woke up the night before last to a message I couldn't see from a name I didn't recognize. Couldn't find the account--it was blocked. Looked it up with another account. It was her. Then, I found that she had dug through my posts--we're talking months--back to March, when things went down between he and I. Did I have posts talking about the incident? I did. Especially immediately after it happened. I was devastated, and reached out to this community. We all share things, not discussing names, but discussing circumstances because they can help another person. And people have reached out saying that it has helped to know they aren't alone.

She used a throwaway account in which the user name included the term "the thin blue line" (for non-American's, that refers to the police) and began posting comments on my photos about how he never wanted me. He never had anything to do with me. That I was just his stalker. That the reason I was upset in March only amounted to the fact that he had to change his number to get away from me. That this past 13 years, I've stalked him. That I'm trying to ruin a serious relationship with the woman he truly loves (and has, apparently, wanted to be with for 17 years) just like I ruined his last relationship. That I'm playing the victim to distract from the fact that I broke several state and federal laws and will go to prison and lose my job (yes, she threatened this twice on a public forum).

I was livid. And that energy carries me through sometimes to the point that I ignore what is being said and just focus on being mad. But now, after sleeping, I just feel worn out. And sad. I don't have feelings for this man. I haven't felt anything since before I left him. I left for a reason, and the more I know, the better I feel about the fact that I did, and that I never got caught up in him wanting me to come to TN for that assignment. It would have broken me completely, to have this happen in a place I don't know with no friends, family, or even therapist.

But the fact of the matter is that I'm not lying, and I'm dealing with my own fallout. I'm over most of it, or I was. Working with my T, I realized that I haven't allowed myself to grieve the loss of the friendship, the person I thought he was, because I was so focused on being angry at who he is. And that is something I'm working on. So, to have someone tell me these things cuts deep. I'm sure that was the aim. Being told I'm nothing more than a stalker when I remember years of friendship, and those months of him being sweet and funny, and totally all-in with me. And yeah, he changed his number. He does that. I wonder how many numbers he's had. I'm sure my blowing up his phone and email, angrier than I can remember being in years, when I found out about the cheating, asking him to at least just tell me if he'd been tested, didn't help. But it sure helps his narrative.

And you know what? There isn't much I can do at this point. Ignore her. Block her. She has me blocked in most spots so it's difficult...when she wants to poke, she comes out of hiding, throws a bomb, and blocks again. I can kind of understand how she feels seeing as we are both being confronted with a truth that didn't match our reality. However, she's made a choice to continue to dog me for two months. Which I actually said to her--if you want me gone so badly, why do you poke at me and do thinks to keep me around? Just go be with your boyfriend. I've told her time and time again I want her to leave me alone.

Anyway. That's what's going on. It isn't so much about her; hopefully, she'll get tired and stop (I thought that a month ago). It's more the stalker story he's weaving for her. Like...really?