I feel that the parental/authority type figures in your very early life really did a bad number on you ( i can relate ) & im sorry for that. That said, IDK if there is a therapist alive or even beyond that who has a chance passing your checks & balances.

Id say your best chance is to try to engage even if the therapist cant avoid your red flag system. I feel that you are probably self-aware to a point that you can at least consider the idea that you may be responsible for being unrealistic and/or unreasonable.