Yes, she was cheated on. And I was as well—he had another woman besides us (at least one). I do understand her perspective, but that doesn’t excuse what she’s doing. This broke me down hard. It’s asinine to say “Just see things from her perspective,” and expect me to feel better about it. I don’t even live in their state. I’m not much of a threat. She’s dragged it on for two months, when if she doesn’t believe me (as she says), she could have made that clear, then returned to her relationship.

I am not interested in trying to convince her, or break them up. She’ Figure him out eventually; all of us have. But if you poke at someone who is already hurting, eventually they’ll react. And unfortunately, that hasn’t worked well for her because it just results in hearing more that she doesn’t as I try to defend and deflect. Yes, I should ignore her. I’ve tried that tactic, and it isn’t working. She is like a bottomless pit. Of course she’s hurting. So am I.

I think it’s wrong to expect something of me that isn’t expected of her. Honestly, and maybe I’m just in a bad place and reactive at the moment but it sounds a tiny bit like you are blaming me as the other woman. I didn’t know about her. I didn’t know about any other women. None of his girlfriends do. Once I was clear he was lying, I left.