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Fast Forward to 3 years later:
I did not open a gym but I did start my own In-Home personal training business. This works best with my c-PTSD as I could not handle that "trapped" feeling working a 9-5 job under someone else's thumb oh and then bullying co-workers.
I am in school for Massage therapy and finish in November. Just another way I can earn money.
T and I have been platonic friends and talk by email/tex/phone twice a month or so. Honestly he usual calls me when he gets away from his wife like when he is walking the dog, because she knows about me ( apparently he has talked to much about me to her) and she gets pissed if he calls me.
In January I started with a new trauma/EMDR therapist. I have developed transference with him but it is not as painful or overwhelming like it was with T1. I do not "love" this one but do crave the normal attention a young child with unmet needs would. That feeling still sucks.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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