I finally decided to cut ties with my half sister and I’m feeling extremely anxious and guilty. I changed my number today after struggling with the decision for months. My sister is 41 while I am 25. We have never really been close, but I always considered her my sister and made great effort to get close to her as a kid.

When I was 19, our mom was diagnosed with brain cancer and only lived for a year. My sister barely cared to visit. She came once for 2 days and her last visit was only because my dad and I told her how her body was shutting down/about to pass on. Despite that, she only scheduled to come for 1 day. That 1 day she chose to have an explosive fight with our aunt right in front of our mom. She stormed off and I didn’t hear from here for 2-3 years. Didn’t come to the funeral or bother to visit our mom before she flew back home to her husband who strongly hates our family and was against her visiting in the first place. Both sent us threatening violent voicemails for the inheritance money that we had not even received yet. The inheritance money went all to high debts my dad and I got into trying to take care of my mom since we had no financial help. Also, my mom’s insurance only covered 80% of bills/surgeries so almost all of it went to that. The little that was left, my dad got me a cheap car with since I still had no car and that was my mom’s wish (she had no will). I should also mention my sister is VERY well off and didn’t help us once financially when we were struggling to even pay the rent/take care of my mom. She was quick to ask though about when she would get her inheritance when we called to tell her that mom was passing away and scoffed at the amount (called it peanuts).

Fast forward to about a year ago, my dad got extremely sick right after my mom (2 heart attacks, kidney failure, and 1 year coma). Doctors were convinced my dad was dying or had a short time to live. Thankfully my dad ended up home, but always admitted to me how hurt he was by my sister threatening him and not even being there when my mom died. I decided to try and contact her thinking maybe she changed or at least would want to talk to my dad before something happens. Well I was dead wrong. She wants nothing to do with my dad and somehow convinced herself that we abandoned her and stole all her money despite explaining where it went (she doesn’t believe us). She started telling me horrible lies about my dad and trying to make it sound like she was constantly there for our mom when she was sick. Also blamed me for not contacting despite her threatening my dad and I. Basically trying to gaslight me.

Despite all that, I still tried to have a relationship with her. I tried to get close to my niece and nephew, but I always felt like I couldn’t get to close because of her and her husband. I feel like she used me by constantly asking me to send her our mom’s handbags or jewelry. I had to sell a lot of my moms jewelery that’s real diamond when my dad was in a coma since I had no help to survive and my job was not making enough. So when I sent her jewelry that wasn’t real since she said she only wanted it for memories, she called me raging and telling me how this is trash and she gave it to her kids to play with. I’m still devestated at how selfish she is. She constantly acts as if my mom would be disappointed in me for not being able to do things she was able to or just trying to get gossip from me.

For some reason I keep letting her walk all over me since whenever I try to stand up for myself, she just starts fighting and is extremely irrational/will tell me to shut up and not let me speak. She’ll go right back to acting like nothing happened the next day after hurting me. She kept making insulting comments recently about our moms grave/tombstone because it has a religious quote on it that our mom loved (her husband hates our religion so she changed and Now is constantly making fun of it) Thay was the last straw for me. I can’t take the comments anymore and how anxious I feel when she messages me. She says hurtful things then will act like nothing happened the next day. I finally decided to cut her out about 1 month ago in which I received an angry text telling me how she knows I’m busy, but could at least text her. I should also mention I’ve been diagnosed with a health condition which I told her about as well as how I’m struggling to make it between taking care of my dad and myself. She ends up just replying with ‘oh sorry..’ each time I open up. Even with how bad she treats me and knowing this is better for my mental health, why am I feeling so scared to cut her out. I also feel horrible for going to have to cut out my niece and nephew as a result...but how do I get close to them when they’re mom has done so much to me and gives me panic attacks each time she contacts me? I’m scared of the harrasment I may get through other methods as well as feeling extreme guilt. I keep thinking what if she changes even though I know she would have by now. It’s getting to the point that thinking about cutting her out and how she may contact me one day is making me terrified to cut ties with her. I’m getting horrible panic attacks at the thought of it.