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Old Jun 23, 2018, 08:38 AM
Anonymous40643
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DanceEngine,

I truly understand your loneliness and feelings of desperation.

I, too, went through a very long depressive period whereby I met my ex fiance. I was both lonely and desperate for affection and love... I was living at home with my parents (as a 40-something adult), I had lost my independence, I was working in a horrible, awful job with an abusive boss, and my life was a mess... I was a mess... I was not happy whatsoever, I was very depressed, and I looked to a man to solve my problem and fill the void I felt. The WRONG man, at that. My judgement was seriously impaired because I was so desperate for love... from anyone!

And, boy, was that ever the biggest mistake of my whole life, getting involved with my ex fiance!!!! I regret it to this day and am still angry at myself for ever getting involved. He hurt me more than anyone ever has, and it turned out to be a very toxic relationship for me.

Thing is, men cannot solve our loneliness OR depression. They simply act as a temporary band aid, but they are not the real solution -- most especially married men. When you leave them, you go home and are back to feeling lonely, sad and depressed.

Truth is --- we cannot depend on another person for our happiness or fulfillment in life. We have to do this for ourselves, all on our own. It is a mistake in life to believe that another person will fill the void within ourselves and within our lives.

You've got to find a way to solve the loneliness and depression through other means. A relationship, an affair, a hookup... none of these things are the solution.

I'd love to see you doing other, healthier things for yourself to help improve your life and state of mind.

People here keep giving you great suggestions, but you keep looking to men for the solution..... including married men...... you're never going to solve the problem if you keep barking up the wrong tree.

And I say this with great compassion.

Here's an article that I wrote for my Happiness Blog which may help you: it touches upon exactly that -- that you cannot look to another person/man/relationship for your happiness --

https://happinessblog.net/how-to-be-happy-single/

Last edited by Anonymous40643; Jun 23, 2018 at 08:59 AM.
Thanks for this!
DanceEngine7