Oh, HB, I'm sorry for your predicament. I wish I had something more encouraging to tell you. The advice above, is all good, and I can't come up with more than that. CCL put it very well what it feels like to be called on it, so to speak, and I wouldn't be holding my breath waiting for results on that front.

There seem to be as many flavors of BP as there are of ice cream. You might think of undx'd bp as chocolate and dx'd as vanilla, as a starting point, just to see it two ways. Undx'd has denial to penetrate in addition to the waves of horror and disappointment that are sure to follow initially. Dx'd, at least is unburdened by some of that.

But either way, you could be out of luck as far as ever being able to successfully be in relationship with this guy. In my pre dx relationships and marriages, one of my recurring horrors was waking up one day as if in the middle of someone else's life. Who chose this job? Who's wife is this? Why do I live here? Who made all these appointments? I knew it was all me, but could feel so dramatically different, so suddenly, rational "discussion" much less resolution was impossible. The shame burden is indescribable.

I don't have advice here, just sympathy, for both of you. I guess, hope for the best and prepare for the worst, as trite as it sounds is the best I can offer. And it sounds like that's where you're at.