I told my mother about this new man. And, she said he is a chameleon because he did many jobs in his life. What?!!! Whatever!! I think she is suffering from her head injury still. She makes as much sense as I do when I'm psychotic, but I love her. Her birthday is today and I wished her a happy birthday on skype this morning then she called tonight and wanted to say she is grateful for living a long life. I am happy for her!

He also said thank you for being concerned about him. Hmmm, I am worried but can't do anything for him unless he asks for help. I really hope he is ok and want the best for him too.


I am feeling ok and am happy about myself. I did my laundry and talked to my pen pals as usual. They are supportive because they suffer from mental illness too. I sometimes wish mental illness is not so debilitating. Some of my pen pals suffer much and it reminds me of the time when I was really ill and disabled. Looking back, I have come a long way. I remember still vividly the times I was homeless and hospitalized. Nobody was with me during these times except my family. I realized they stuck it out with me while I hit rock bottom a few times. Now, I try to be supportive of others in similar situations because I wish that there would have been somebody like me when I was going through hell besides my family.


I diverge again. Yes, I have insight to other people's problems and hope I can be of help to them if needed. Whether it be addiction or bipolar disorder, I try to be supportive if they ask for help and want my advice.


I am thankful for other people's advice and insight as well! I realized when I was really debilitated that being truly alone with no family is hard to accept and to carry on by oneself with such an illness is truly amazing and miraculous. I have family, that is, my parents. But, some don't have anybody and suffer the most miserable agony of it all. I find those who suffer with mental illness and have no one there to help them are true survivors. I could not have done without my family when in need. I am grateful towards them. I survived too but wonder if I were all alone, would have I made it this far? I would have probably not.


The new man in my life lost his parents recently. He is alone so to speak. I am going to be alone one day too. I hope that someone somewhere will be there for me when I need help again. This is all I ask. It does not have to be a friend nor family member, but just someone who will help if I ask for help.


I am procrastinating and should go to bed now.