I hear ya, Vince.

As my T pointed out to me, the 2 are closely related. In my recent situation, I'm sad and hurt by what happened, and it's manifesting as anger. I feel like I can't allow myself to let the sadness and hurt take prominence, because if they do I fear they'll take over, so I'm still very focused on anger. But it's so exhausting, and I can feel the tension throughout my entire body.

There is possibly also a gender aspect to this. As another man, I can relate to the "weakness" aspect of what you're saying. I've always liked to consider myself somewhat outside of the traditional and expected roles of males, but there are times when I realize I am much more "typically male" than I would like to believe. There are times when I feel it's ok to express certain feelings, but the rest of the time I feel like I'm supposed to be strong and confident or something. I don't know where those expectations are coming from - whether it's the culture at large or just from within myself - but it's too much pressure.