Quote:
Originally Posted by Seneca1854
Being celibate can be unpleasant. There's a stigma around it. It makes sense that celibate feel sometimes feel lonely.
However, it appears that celibacy or being a virgin is unlikely to be harmful to the body. One indicator is that, on average, nuns outlive the general population. Also, extensive studies of hundreds of priests show priests are happier than the general population. You could argue that some nuns and priests break their vows, which is true. Still, if celibacy were really toxic, I would expect different results.
I saw one study from 2008 that showed delaying having sex for the first time could be bad for people. The funny thing is that many news outlets created stories around the study that said staying a virgin could affect how much you enjoy sex. It's a good idea to read the study yourself. The study says, "Early initiation of sexual intercourse was associated with various sexual risk factors, including increased numbers of sexual partners and recent sexual intercourse under the influence of alcohol, whereas late initiation was associated with fewer risk factors. However, both early and late initiation were associated with sexual problems such as problems with arousal and orgasm, primarily among men."
So having sex very early is associated with several risk factors including a greater number of partners for both sexes and arousal problems for men. Having sex late is only associated with the risk factor of arousal problems for men. It appears that delaying sex in women carries less risks.
Finally, "association" just means, scientists saw the 2 things together. So the scientists found that the same guys who were late virgins also had more arousal problems. But we don't know which event happened first. Did the guys discover that they didn't get aroused and then choose to delay having sex? Or did they delay having sex and discover they didn't get aroused?
Based on the evidence I see, I don't think being a late virgin is unhealthy.
The Study: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2156059/
Nuns Less Vulnerable to Infections: University of Sheffield scientists find nuns have stronger immune systems | Daily Mail Online
Happy Priest Studies: https://www.amazon.com/Why-Priests-A.../dp/1594712743 |
There's more to involuntary abstinence/lack of a sex life/lack of intimate emotional relationships, than just stigma and social pressure.
On the one side, it's true, people shouldn't have sex or feel bad about not having sex due to these types external social pressure. It's especially true when it comes to pressure to lose it as early as possible and the impression that it's somehow "wrong" or "late" to be a virgin in your 20s or whatever.
However, aside from social pressure and stigma, there's a also the question of fulfilling the need most of us have, as human being, for that kind of intimacy(emotional and physical) that one can't quite get from platonic relationships or any other relationships.
Having sex is not about simple, physical, mechanical release of that sexual tension inside, it's not even really about the orgasm in terms of the physical pleasure it gives. Being sexual with another person is mostly about the intimacy of it, the shared aspect, the connection, the validation. Even a good one night stand is intimate and studies suggest that on a psychological level there's no such thing as casual sex, the brain is still searching for more even if it doesn't seem like it, whether with the person or generally speaking.
It's easy to dismiss someone's pain regarding a complete lack of shared sexual experience by thinking only of the social stigma thing. Human relationships, the deeper and more intimate the better, are at the core of our emotional, mental wellbeing.
There's several studies that suggest having a partner(a good one ofc) and good friends/social circle are directly linked to, generally speaking, better health, a longer lifespan, even better income and career success. Having a good sex life also seems to help improve work productivity and overall wellbeing.
In fact, some of the same studies found that a single person entering a fulfilling relationship increased their overall life satisfaction quite a bit more than a substantial pay raise.
All of this makes sense because we're social creatures and we've evolved to be at our most successful as organisms when we work together and support each other, in general and in raising offspring. So we're programmed for that and when that's not happening the brain is set to alert us and attempt to make us get back on the optimal path. Kinda' like when you feel hungry or thirsty or even when you feel pain, all sensations made to alert you you're supposed to do something you're not doing, that helps your survival.
If someone is not asexual and not making a very conscious decision to abstain, if they feel pain and acute loneliness, need for intimacy, it's not just social stigma and the compassionate answer shouldn't just focus on that because if someone is truly hurting and in need of that, it doesn't help to just say oh it's ok, it's just stupid social expectations that you don't have to conform to so it's fine if you never feel physically intimate with anyone.
Of course, as a disclaimer, having said that, no one is entitled to anything and if you're a terrible human(like those red pill, women hater dudes online) then that's most certainly the reason why. But that's a different story.