So you're still blaming someone else. All of this including the past situation and your deteriorating behavior here is your bad attitude. Only you can change it. But instead of accepting responsibility and changing your behavior you continue to blame and be resentful. This is the consequences. You really need to talk about how you can take responsibility for yourself in therapy.
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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