Full trigger warning.

Last night's dream is disturbing imagery. I was being punched in the back of the head into a corner. My nose was bleeding and several teeth were missing with blood coming from my mouth too. My ex was screaming at me how everything is really my fault, everything. I took the knife out of my leg and the wall that had me pinned into the corner, and I plunged it between my ribs and into my heart. I felt cold and peaceful and empty. I felt the Empty take hold. It was beautiful.
All this horror but the end of the dream made it all ok. I was in so much pain up until just after I felt my heart stop.
I don't think I feel suicidal in reality, but I am somewhat depressed. I suppose my ex asking me out last night was part of this. I said no.

Then I took a nap again earlier. The screaming dream is back. Thousands of open mouths all screaming all at once with no beginning or end. I might have to take the prazosin if this continues.
I'm mentally not well today. I'm going to yoga anyway