There are so many good responses here that are really helping me process this. Thank you, everyone.

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Perna said:
I don't think we should ever apologize for sharing how we feel. The expression of anger can be helpful; your T caught how afraid you are, that's what it is for.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Yes, you are right, Perna (as always, so insightful!). My anger was an effort at communication, so T would know the depth of my fear. I was like a cornered, wild animal. They are frightened, and they lash out. He saw my fear. I think it was a much more powerful expression than saying calming and rationally to him, "I am very scared." He knows now, and we can work on this.

Soliaree, thanks for your support. It sounds like you get some of those same feelings after anger (embarrassment, guilt) that I do. Right this moment, I am feeling, inside, that I am a grown adult, and have the right to be angry on occasion. It is the child within me, who was never allowed to express anger, who has this urge to apologize to T and get his "forgiveness" or "approval" or "reassurance" for my angry outburst. T and I have talked before about healthy adult relationships, which consist of two differentiated partners, each with their own feelings, goals, interests, and thoughts. My apologizing would be a step away from such a healthy relationship. I am an adult, I don't need T's approval (she said, bravely). I might feel differently if I had dumped my anger on T, rather than in his room. But I was not angry at him or mean or abusive to him, and he knew that. All my curse words were directed at other people or events.

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I think you should call your T to discuss it instead of worrying about it. Why suffer when you can just call him and settle the matter?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I know you didn't mean that to be funny, Soliaree, but it made me laugh. My T doesn't really do the phone thing. If I called and left a message, he most likely would never call back, and by the time of my session, he would not even have remembered I called. And I would be left waiting several days for a return call, feeling abandoned, ignored, etc. Not pleasant. Nope, not going there. (If I did contact him, I would email.)