Well, if talk therapy does not help, then you have serious impulse problems that need to be controlled somehow. You can't act out of impulse because you feel like it in certain situations. No matter what we say, you act impulsively and rationalize about it. There is no rational explanation for impulsive behavior. However, there could be medication that can help you. I highly encourage you to seek professional help for your behavior. You have some impairment and I do too but take medication for it. I know you probably don't want to take medication now but after reading your messages and having you rationalize about your behavior, you don't make much sense to me nor others. I empathize but don't agree with your explanations for your behavior. Please seek help from your doctor.