One of the hardest things for me to learn way back when I was in therapy about 15 yrs ago, was that other people aren't mind readers. I thought because my ex had known me for a number of years, he should know what my needs were. The same with my present husband... back then. It's not so, sadly. No matter how well you think people know you or how many "hints" you give, how many times you heave a heavy sigh, it won't work. You need to state your needs in order to get them met! The sooner the better, too, to keep your frustration level down and keep you in control of a difficult situation.

There's nothing wrong with stating your needs Clearly and Directly. I can't stress this enough! In fact, that's the way it needs to be done. Someone brought up "I-statements" in the last few days. Another great tool! "I feel..." "I need..." "When that happens, I feel..." That way, no one feels attacked or critisied and in turn, they don't get defensive. They are more prone to listen to you and may even make the effort to understand where you are coming from. It certainly would be easier than trying to interpret a heavy sigh; which by the way, could go ignored because mostly it just means a heavy release of breath.

Another life saver I learned during my years of therapy was "STOP. THINK. ACT." Those of us with depression/anxiety, low self esteem and those of us who are more sensitive to exterior stimuli need to practice this and not REact to something we THINK was said to US. If you STOP and THINK, you might realize that a comment WASN'T meant for you! It's also fair to ASK FOR CLARIFICATION of any given comment before we go off half-cocked. It saves a whole lot of hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Oh, and hey! It helps to ward of panic attacks, too, or get through one without allowing our feelings of "fight or flight" get the best of us!

Hope this helps all of us.