If you've read my other posts (I won't bore you with a repeat of all the issues) you know I came close to destroying my marriage. I was not diagnosed until after I had an affair. My husband was determined to leave me because of all the cycles I've put him through over our 30 year marriage. My kids aren't speaking to me and when he wanted to leave one of the things he said was "you are still going, going, going - I'm ready to slow down. I want to spend time with our kids and grand kids"

Even though he planned to leave he was supportive of me getting helping and was on top of things to get me out of jail when I was arrested for the DWI in May.

With my counselor's help I wrote a letter to our girls acknowledging what I've put them and their dad through, apologizing for it, and asking for forgiveness. I sent it Friday and have not heard a word from them.

He's decided to stay and I'm so relived. Now going as far to say if the girls don't come around and respond my efforts with all the hard work I'm putting into getting this under control it's going to affect their relationship with him. But I feel so totally and completely undeserving and guilty since he said he wanted to spend more time with them and I may be keeping him away from them.

He's a caregiver by nature. I asked him, in light of the above stuff with the kids and grand kids, if he was here for the right reasons and not just because he thinks someone needs to take care of me. He assured me he wants to be here with me. I've done what needs to be done and the next step is theirs.

I'm just venting. But, I feel horrible about all of this.

If anyone has had success repairing family relationships after actions related to BP I'd appreciate some encouragement.