I wrestled with the same issues of wanting to go drive across country to confront the person who had abused me as a child. After a TON of rational thinking, therapy, etc I decided that it wasn't what "I" needed. I just wanted to look the person in the face and ask them why they did it. For me it was just that I wanted closure on the subject and being rational closure was not gonna come from me doing that. I think the best thing for someone to do is to say your peace fine but after that in my mind now if you keep trying to get back at the other person there still winning. So the thing that finally got me from wanting to confront/maybe hurt the person was realizing that by focusing on that person that person was still controlling me, and so I forgave that person and moved on for ME, not for them. I hope this helps some I know I was rambling some.