I feel that as long as you benefit in positive ways from your therapy, that the transference love need not be damaging. It's possible, too, that the fervor of the love will in fact die down a bit over time, even if it never dies.

I met my psychiatrist during my first psychiatric hospitalization. He was my psychiatrist at that time. It didn't take more than a second for me to be wowed by him. I remember sitting in the lounge desperate with a mixed bipolar episode and suffering from alcohol detox. Then a huge handsome man (he's 6' 6.5" tall) walked towards me and asked if I was "me". When I saw him it was as if Cupid hit me with an arrow. It was only about one year later that I started seeing him privately outpatient. At first I just adored him, then I was totally in love. I would flirt with him and tease him. He definitely knew. His formal way oddly egged me on. For some time I was having maladaptive daydreaming about him, spending hours per day daydreaming about living with him. Dialogues. The whole works. It got so extreme that when I saw him I would sometimes dissociate.

Over the past three years my extreme erotic transference has calmed a bit. I still love him, but I've stopped all of the daydreaming. Really, our doctor/patient relationship has improved in ways because of it.

My psychiatrist is a lot older than me. Probably 25 years older. He will eventually retire even though he's in his early 70s. I will likely eventually move away. I don't look forward to that at all. Frankly, I'm afraid I might have a bipolar episode when it happens. But I will get over it.