Hello mercury: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

I don't know as there is much of anything I can suggest here. Perhaps I misunderstand your post. But it sounds to me as though maybe you're just eating enough snacks that you're not really hungry when meal time rolls around? I know, myself, I like mixed nuts. (Hey... you are what you eat...) And I will sometimes munch on mixed nuts in the afternoon while I'm here on PC. But I have to be careful because it doesn't take all that much munching before I've pretty-much lost my appetite for dinner.

You wrote that you've always been normal weight & that you've actually gained a few pounds since quitting smoking. I've never smoked. But I have the impression that gaining weight after quitting is to be expected. And, besides, you wrote you actually like the extra few pounds you're carrying. That's not a concern for you. So it sounds to me as though the main concern here is with regard to nutrition. There's not a lot of nutritional value to Goldfish, Cheez-its, & chips. So if you're eating enough snacks to spoil your appetite for meals, then you're likely losing out nutritionally. Plus, if you're ramping up your exercise regimen, then you're asking your body to do more while not providing it with sufficient vitamins, etc.

You also mentioned depression & suicidal thoughts as well. Certainly those things aren't going to help either. And given that you have struggled with those, it's even more important that you eat a balanced diet. This can become a vicious circle. You struggle with depression & so you don't eat properly, which just makes your depression worse, which then causes you to not want to eat properly... & on it goes. At some point, you have to figure out a way to break the cycle, abandon the snacks, & eat nutritionally balanced meals. And as long as your weight is stable, the amount you're eating is not so much of concern, it seems to me, as is simply the fact that what you are eating is nutritionally healthy.

Here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, regarding the link between mental health & nutrition:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/can-nut...ff-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/10-nut...se-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-food...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/news/2015/0...lth/85591.html

https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-su...mental-health/

My best wishes to you...