I feel like I'm losing control of myself. For the last few weeks before the suspension, I felt more and more empty. I been acting out since March, but during the last few weeks was when it escalated and I became desensitized to my own acting out. On the day of the incident, I actually saw a former fast food colleague shopping. That really stung.

There are many things I did/said that my current supervisor is unaware of. For instance, I brought up Star Wars and swordfighting alluding to men peeing on each other. The 2 male coworkers I was talking about this to understood immediately what I was saying, as it was accompanied by a gesture. My therapist said that constituted sexual harassment.

Another incident, I was in a middle of a conversation with the same male coworker and I spelled out the f-word to him. He said he does that. I asked to who. He said his wife. Then I asked him if she liked it.

I cried/wailed to a coworker on the salesfloor a couple times. I asked her to push me in the shopping cart bc a customer hurt my feelings. I asked if I could break stuff. Thx god she never told on me.

I find it very hard to escape the intrusive thoughts of that fast food supervisor. She's CONSTANTLY on my mind. It hurt that much.