When we first started dating, we did everything together. I understand that's a normal thing, but I'm not sure if we've phased out of doing that. He's a bit isolated, doesn't get to see his friends much, and, at least early on, has stated that he prefers doing things with me. There was a time when I did something without him, and he got into his silent mode. So I avoid doing things without him out of fear of making him feel excluded. My therapist told me that I shouldn't be afraid, though; his happiness is not my responsibility. I've just never been good at asking for things, especially when they benefit myself.

Yeah, you basically answered the question, haha . I know the risk is relatively small, but of course it's happened. It's a very puzzling situation to be in. I think the main thing he wants from me, like in any relationship, is to be a good partner. As you can see from my post above, I am not being the affectionate person I want to be because I am depriving myself, so I supposed it's better to give myself some self-care.

Life was smooth sailing when we met. I worked a perfect schedule with amazing coworkers and hung out with my friends constantly, yet still had alone time every evening.
A lot of drama happened around the time we started dating, unrelated to him: crap with my parents, stuff happening to my friends, quitting my job, finishing college, finding other jobs... it was incredibly stressful. My anxiety got really bad because I was juggling life and trying not to disappoint my new BF, on top of school, PMS, etc.
When I hung out with BF more, I noticed he was particular about things. He was much more organized and tidy than I was, and seemed really knowledgable about some of our common interests (I know, it's stupid, there's stuff I know way more about than he does, but at the time I got fixated). I started modifying my behavior so that I wouldn't come across as stupid or messy. Basically, a few months into dating, I became this megaball of stress that wasn't acting like herself, and I haven't really been since then. Again, all because I assumed/overthought everything.

So, I'm starting to get in touch with my "old self," but it's hard. I've been a people-pleaser since I was little, so this is just a habit I need to work on.
My bf has said he wishes he could see me as happy as when we first met, so we're all on the same page there. I just wish I knew how to go about doing that. And I wish I didn't doubt "us" so much.