I have the same feeling of sinking into a hole I can never get out of. I was sensored on one forum because my explanations of my problems were explicit. There is no where for me to go, no family members to help me cause they cannot find out about me, it would be devastating to family and friends. Some of this is my wife's fault and I have been thinking about divorce a lot lately. I just keep myself locked inside my bubble and try so hard not to get myself into any kind of trouble.