But do you see? "the reason was because I went back to see her" Umm. She canned you because of your uninvited visits in the first place, so her threatening a restraining order, once again was due to your behavior and your ignoring their wishes.

Then you go on to blame your own behavior on that. First, accept that what you do is causing these consequences. You haven't accepted this idea or you wouldn't be using it as an excuse for further "acting out". You behave the way you do because you choose to and all the while blaming it on thngs outside yourself causing you to do such things. NO, you choose to behave the way you do. It might be hard at times when you're upset at things but the fact remains that it is a decision you have to make to behave in unacceptable ways or not.

What's the point in even trying to "act professionally" at any point when everything outside of yourself is supposedly causing you to behave badly? I mean if it's outside yourself and you have no control then can you really actually take responsibility for "acting professionally" or are you like a leaf in the wind being blown by the wind (your environment and events in life) every which way without being able to stop it? if that's the case then you can't because the only reason you were acting professionally was because there were no trying events at the time.

I'm not saying those things are true I'm emphasizing that these things are hard to handle yes but you (or anyone for that matter) do not have to allow it to control whether you can be professional or not.