well, I dont' want to say it's entirely in your lap as to why this is happening and I cant' really say that your bf is doing anything wrong per se either.. it takes two people to make or break a relationship and right now you're at a point where something needs to be modified in the way you are interacting. No blame here, it's about you finding ways to cope with the way he sometimes naturally is and him learning about what goes on in your head when he does go silent. Thing is, neither one of you can read minds so communication is the key really.

When times are good and you're at peace, that's the time to bring up things. when you are having conversations, start a talk about how his silence affects you. Mind you, to help him understand, not to blame him. I think it's pretty safe to say that your fears and anxiety is based on other things in your life and his silence merely triggers it. The trigger being there because when he is silent you don't actually know what's going on in his head. So he needs to understand what happens to you when he's quiet so that he can decide and find ways to reassure you or help you cope. no guarantees he will be willing but I think that conversation will be something that could draw you together and help you to be more sure of how committed he is.

Without you talking to him about this and allowing him the chance to understand and support you, you will forever remain in the dark about why he goes quiet and whether or not your fears have any foundation in reality. I think you'll find that it's probably not any of the extremes that you think at times.

Key points - do this when things are good, not in the midst of it. 2. let him know how you feel about things when he's silent but not as if he's to blame foryour thoughts. be open to his explanations and expect the best. Also expect and plan to figure out together how to help each other.

It will work out. but not without talking to him - I'd venture to guess that this is even more fundamental to helping you than therapy itself.