Thanks for sharing this.

I had my problems growing up as well. I suppose everyone does. (Unfortunately I also went on to create a whole mountain of problems as an adult too.)

I managed to keep trudging along for the first 50 years of my life. Then things slowly began to unravel.

They've been slowly coming apart ever since.

It's only recently I seem to have stemmed the decent.
I've never really dealt with most of what I've experienced. And, at this point, I'm quite certain I never will. It all simply is what it is... or was what it was... to be more accurate.

I'm glad you're doing your best to come to terms with what you experienced though. Hopefully coming here to PC can be of some help with that.
By the way, here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on adult children of alcoholics:
https://psychcentral.com/lib/children-of-alcoholics/
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...oholic-parent/
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...had-childhood/
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...el-in-control/
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...perfectionism/