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MissCharlotte said:
Hold onto your anger. I think it is telling you something.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">MissCharlotte, I think you are right. I feel this whole thing has turned out to be really significant for me. Right after I left T's office, I had this insistent recollection of an intense and painful childhood memory. I am connecting this to what I was expressing the fear/anger about with T. And then I recalled two dreams I had a few months ago. They belong in this chain. Everything is connecting up and making sense. I am beginning to understand where my intense fear is coming from. I have a feeling T and I will be doing some EMDR on the childhood memory to help me process and integrate it. I'm excited at all these connections. I think putting all this together will help me be less frightened TODAY. This for me, is one of the wonders of therapy--connecting the dots of my life.

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mckell13 said:
Sunrise, does this sound like the type of apology you would send:

On the ride home I realized I got a bit angry towards the end of the session. I’m sorry for displacing it on you. I didn’t mean to be disrespectful raising my voice and drop a bunch of f-bombs. I know you are trained to take it, but it doesn’t mean you should have to. Sorry

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">No, I would not send this kind of apology (it is too apologetic, lol). I am actually not going to send any apology, as I realize now that would be the act of my child, not my adult. I have a right to be angry. T is my therapist and can handle it. If I had sent an apology, it would have been rather oblique (something like, "T, here is a poem I can really relate to. I think I was the wild hog at our session last night. " ). I can be a master of obliqueness, but luckily T gets it. McKell, I'm sorry you sent that email when it really wasn't what you wanted to do. I have a tendency to fire off emails to all sorts of people, and then regret them later. So lately, I have just been storing them in the "draft" folder and waiting a day. Then I can decide at a more removed time if I really should send them or not.

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Although you may be losing sleep over the interaction, I'm sure he isn't. You might consider holding your apology until your next face-to-face meeting.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I'm actually not losing sleep over the apology question, but I am losing sleep over what it was I got angry/scared about. It is still bothering me. It's a big deal for me.