Thank you for this post. I am struggling with the med issue right now. My pdoc has me on 5 psych meds and I think it's ridiculous. With regard to 1 (Gabapentin) I was feeling WAY overmedicated and had some manic symptoms (extreme, relentless, dangerous anger). I told her what was going on, and that I wanted to STOP taking the stuff. She politely disagreed; we went back and forth. I came home, dropped the dose of that poison way down and I feel SO much better. Much more normal.

I am going to discuss the med issue with my therapist today. I completely support med compliance when the med/s are truly helping. I do not believe in doping a patient up to the point at which we have no life but to stare at a wall and think about sleep while we gain weight and shake so severely we feel embarrassed to go out in public.

I know it's very hard, but I think you do need to be honest with your pdoc. If you're not honest, things are going to get all tangled up and she'll figure out that you're lying.
I very much wish you the best with this difficult issue.